TEQUILLA! Everything's going all...wobbly.... I could probably walk...minus the whole, like, getting around thing. It's like tunnel vision, without the tunnel. Like being light headed, but with all this weight. Like sleeping, except snakey 'cause my eyes are open. It's like...wearing off.... Okay...
I don't think I can hold my liquor very well. Not enough Irish gene. Bummer.
Showing posts with label pirates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pirates. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The Occupational Woes of a Twenty-First Century Pirate
Arr. No exclamation point. Just arr. I have to you my inside voice. This is one of the many woes that face a pirate in this new millenium.
Sailing is a sport now. No longer a means of transportation. And the boats haven't got gunports. They're so "scientific" and "balanced" that they'd keel over if you get a decient amount of cannon aboard. Not that it matters, since there aren't many cannon to be had, except in museums. Admittedly, stealing them, then putting them on a boat, which I would probably also have to steal, would be a pretty Pirate thing to do. But then I'd have to deal with the Coast Guard. Getting out past them might not be a problem, out into open ocean. Sacking a port like Manhattan is potentially problematic. I couldn't even get close enough to their boats to start shooting. Even being my own loony self, I see the impossibility.
Piracy still exists, though. You don't need a boat for it. Which would certainly be a comforting thought, if it weren't. You see, the most successful Pirate that I know, firstly doesn't dress the part, and more chiefly spends every spare minute on the internet, where he conducts his piracy.
I have the outfit. But so far, modern society has thwarted my efforts at otherwise becoming a Pirate.
Sailing is a sport now. No longer a means of transportation. And the boats haven't got gunports. They're so "scientific" and "balanced" that they'd keel over if you get a decient amount of cannon aboard. Not that it matters, since there aren't many cannon to be had, except in museums. Admittedly, stealing them, then putting them on a boat, which I would probably also have to steal, would be a pretty Pirate thing to do. But then I'd have to deal with the Coast Guard. Getting out past them might not be a problem, out into open ocean. Sacking a port like Manhattan is potentially problematic. I couldn't even get close enough to their boats to start shooting. Even being my own loony self, I see the impossibility.
Piracy still exists, though. You don't need a boat for it. Which would certainly be a comforting thought, if it weren't. You see, the most successful Pirate that I know, firstly doesn't dress the part, and more chiefly spends every spare minute on the internet, where he conducts his piracy.
I have the outfit. But so far, modern society has thwarted my efforts at otherwise becoming a Pirate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)